waiting for this. I was on the search for the perfect planner and my
friend turned me on to the Erin Condren life planner and I HAD to have one!... and thanks to a great coupon code (SEEYOUSOON25) I am now the proud owner.
I'm hoping this "life planner" will help organize my life and maybe it could help me figure out exactly what I am doing.
I've been having a bit of an identity crisis lately. I've been a SAHM now for 3 1/2 yrs. For the first time, I am having some guilt, I guess you could call it, about being a SAHM...(guilt as a mom...imagine?). Maybe call it an identity crisis. My daughter in kindergarten every day and my son in Pre K three days a week, I now have 3 days all to myself....3 whole days. How wonderful! BUT I'm not exactly sure what to do with those days. I am having a hard time getting into my own 'routine'. Sounds crazy I know. I think back 3 yrs and I'm sure if I ever heard myself questioning this I'd be giving myself a swift kick in the pants. I've longed for this time...my OWN routine, not making all my plans based on someone else's routine or schedule. The days of changing two sets of diapers multiple times a day, making bottles, feeding, playing, fighting for naps, trips to the library and park, soothing the constant crying and whining....3 days a week is vacation. It wasn't all bad, but it certainly was exhausting! I've often regretted leaving my job to be home... but then quickly change my mind and know I wouldn't change these years for anything... as difficult as they have been. And they have been hard! But now what? I know my kids still need me.. but I don't feel as needed as I once did. I'm having a difficult time accepting they are growing up. Although I LOVE the little people they are becoming. I think I'm afraid of them growing up and me not being needed. And I start to think what is my "job" now? And there's where the guilt and uncertainty comes in. I am often asked,"Now what are you doing all day long?" And although I never have any concrete answers, I am somehow always busy and still running around. I heard a comment the other day made "I envy the SAHMs that can drop their kids off at school and go to the gym and take naps"... OH!! Is THAT what I should be doing??
Well there is my answer I guess. But why, oh why, is it when I think of doing something for ME I feel guilty, once again. Will it cut into my grocery shopping time, my appts, the cleaning, paying bills, the laundry, the cooking, the drop offs and pick ups, the driving to activities. I know doing things for me will make me a better mom... so why the guilt? Can't quite figure that part out. But for the time being I will enjoy these moments and cherish them.
Love these faces!! Ok... off to the gym and that much needed nap! : )
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